Contemplation

Right now I sitting in the SLC airport. My flight landed about 10 minutes ago. I’ve got an hour to kill before my connecting flight arrives to take me to St George. I’m really excited to see my family again. It will be really nice. It’s been 9 months since I’ve been home. Kinda wierd.

When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to get out of St. George. Such a small town with not much to do. Well, now I live in Oklahoma City. lol. Yeah, St George is quite a bit smaller and has TONS more to do. It seems all anyone in OKC wants to do is drink and watch football. I don’t have a problem with football. Football is fun. I loved going to football games when I was in highschool and college. I just don’t understand the draw of drinking all the time. Drinking is just something I’ve never had a desire to do. I kinda get tired of my friends asking me to drink. I think they know I’ll say no and they’re asking just to be funny, but I get tired of it sometimes. Back home, where I’m headed, there were the the highschool and college sports. I went to a lot of basketball and football games. They’re fun. We also have a lot of hiking, lakes that people can actually swim in, rapelling, rock climbing, river rafting, tons of places to camp and do bonfires, rivers to swim and wakeboard in, snowboarding, etc. That’s along with movies, bowling, going out to eat, pool halls and all that fun stuff. So, I guess St George isn’t that bad. I’m not sure I’d want to live there for the rest of my life, but it’s not that bad of a place.

I have a lot of things on my mind right now. My life has turned into a giant upheavel of late. A lot of things have been going on and I just feel like I’m being thrown around with nothing to hold on to. I’m starting to get my bearings, though. I’ve got some good friends that have been helping me out a lot. Jill has been absolutely awesome. It’s been great to just be able to talk with her about everything and know that at least one person on this planet understands. It’s also wonderful to have someone who can make me laugh when I want to cry. I don’t know what I would do without Jill. I’ve never had a better friend.

It’s also helped me a lot to go to the gym. Sometimes it doesn’t help, but working myself into exhaustion helps me fall asleep faster and sleep better, so it does help in some ways. I also like how it makes me feel. I feel like I’m doing something productive and making myself healthier. So, it’s a good thing.

Life is just confusing sometimes. I hate it when it’s like that, but I guess that’s just how it is sometimes. I’m just glad the confusion doesn’t last forever. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. This tunnel just feels neverending at the moment. It’ll end, though. Life will resume it’s state of relative calm and all will be well in the world. Sometimes at work when I’m having a chaotic day or things are bothering me, I write little things on sticky notes and stick them on the wall. lol. It sounds really silly and retarded, but it makes me happy. When I’m having a bad day I just read those notes and I feel better. If the particular saying I need isn’t up there, I write the one I need and stick it with the rest. That may sound dumb to some people, but it works for me. It makes me happy. Evidently it makes my coworkers happy, too. I took my quotes down so I could put up notes for the people who will be doing my job while I’m gone this week and several people commented that they missed my quotes and wanted to know when I’d be putting them back up. lol. I had no idea that other people were even reading them. I guess it just goes to show that you never know who is watching and what they are watching.