Musing Mind

I’ve got a lot on my mind right now. I’ve had a lot on my mind all day. I wrote down some of the things I was thinking about today, but I left the list at work. But that’s okay. I’ve got a lot more on my mind now. I’m chatting with my friends right now and at first they were making me happy. Now it’s just making me sad. I love my friends. I miss them so much.

Okay, so I started that yesterday. lol. I didn’t get much written. We all had too much fun playing on an MSN group chat. I think we should do that more often. It was pretty fun. I don’t remember a lot of it, but I seem to remember something about Jared and Nate being gay and Jared called me fat. :/ It was an odd chat. Jill was having a lot of fun making the chat window vibrate. There’s a ‘nudge’ option that makes the window shake and makes a noise. Jill was having a lot of fun doing that during the conversation. It was pretty funny. As fun as it was, I got distracted partway through the conversation by my brain and had to leave. I was having a really good time with them at first. I was laughing my head off and having a total blast. My mind, though, for some reason just can’t hold on to being happy. My brain always has to go back to other things. Of course, yesterday had a plethora of things for my mind to dwell upon. Not the best day, yesterday. It wasn’t as bad as some days have been, but it definitely wasn’t the best. I don’t really want to talk about it, though. I’m so tired of crying and being sad. My goal for the foreseeable future is to take things as they come and to find peace with the way things are. I’ve never really been a patient person. When I see something that needs to be done, I do it right away. Or if I want something, I want it to happen NOW. It’s always been hard for me to let things go their course. Especially when that course is slow. I’m not a way fast-paced person, but when something needs to be done, I do it as quickly and efficiently as I can. I tend to be that way in my relationships, too. That’s kinda how Caleb and I got married. Quickly. Very very quickly. We both liked each other a lot and we both thought of each other as people we could marry in the future. Both of us wanted to get married, so we decided to just go ahead and do it. We didn’t exactly think it through very well. That why, if I ever get married again, I would like to be engaged for a period of at least 3 months, hopefully longer. lol. I need to teach myself patience.