Thinking

It’s been a while since I last wrote. I kinda forgot about it. lol. I think about my blog when I’m at work, but I always seem to forget about it when I get home. I guess it’s because I’m usually so tired when I get home that all I want to do is just relax and not do anything.

Yesterday I was so exhausted when I got home that I just layed on my couch watching tv and texting some friends until it was time to go to bed. I don’t feel too bad about being lazy when I got home yesterday. Reason being that I got up at 4:00am, worked out until just after 5:00am, got to work at 6:15am, worked until 5:15pm and went straight to the gym where I worked out until 6:30pm. Normally I would have been there until 7:00pm, but it was my first time in a long time to be working out twice in one day, so my body said it was done and I went home. I was rather sore this morning, but after doing a bunch of my physical therapy stretches, most of it went away. Hopefully, as I continue this, the level of soreness either stays about the same or diminishes. I had a hard time getting going this morning because of it. Oh well. That’s normal. I was going to work out again this afternoon (i already worked out this morning), but after work, I just felt so drained that I didn’t think it would be a good idea to push it today. I’ll try again tomorrow. I guess at least one work out a day is better than none.

Other than switching up my workout routine from once a day to twice a day, not much is new in my life. Still working a lot, though not quite as much as before. Things have slowed down a bit at work, so I’ve been averaging 10-10.5 hours a day instead of the usual 11-12 hours a day, which is nice. Not as much overtime, but I get to relax more, which I do like. The overtime offered a nice way for me to save extra money (it’s really nice having my car as the only debt I have), but I have been feeling rather rundown lately, so the opportunity to work a little bit less is good for me. I miss the extra money, but I like having more time to read and do what I like.

Oh, the Disneyland trip got cancelled. Sort of. It makes me sad. Well, it’s not cancelled, but I’m not going. There was a bit of a miscommunication on when we were going and Jill bought tickets for a weekend when only she and Nate could go and since the tickets are non-refundable and non-transferrable, she and Nate are going by themselves. Kinda sucks because I really wanted to go, but it’s probably better this way. I’m going to save my money so I can go visit my brother in England next summer. I also want to go to Italy and Russia. I just have to find someone to go with. *sigh* Kinda pathetic, isn’t it? But I guess that’s what I get for being a workaholic recluse. Anyone who knows me knows that I’ve never been super outgoing and that I’ve never really cared about having tons of friends. I’ve always been the type who has tons of acquaintance-friends and a handful (if even that) of really close friends. I have very few people that I trust fully. That’s just how I’ve always been.

Anyways, on to something else. Oh! haha. Everyone else will think this is kinda silly, but I think it’s cute. At the courthouse yesterday, I was a little flustered. Not really sure why. Well, there’s a couple things going on so it’s probably that. Anyways, I had fun goofing off with the girls at the cashier’s cage. Those girls are awesome. lol. We just talked about what they all did on New Year’s and all that fun stuff. Well, after that I went to the Civil Department to get documents filed in with the court. There are two court clerks at the counter (used to be three) and four back-up clerks who help when necessary. There’s not an option to choose who works on your stuff, you just go to the first person available. Yesterday, I got Nathan. I’ve been getting him a lot lately. lol. Well, I guess I looked stressed yesterday because he commented about it. I didn’t feel stressed. Just really tired. I don’t think he believed me. Later, I was thinking about some stuff and he started asking me what was wrong. I have a hard time telling people when things are bothering me and I just kept telling him nothing was wrong. I thought he was going to let it go, but a few minutes later he started asking more questions. He asked if it was work, the cancelled Disneyland trip, a family problem, something with my friends (Jill and Nate are the only friends of mine he knows), the damage to my car (the hail storm on Sunday dented up my car and shattered the side-view mirror), money, something with my apartment or if he had done something to upset me. I felt really bad when he asked if I was upset with him or if he had done something to upset me. I kept telling him no and assuring him that it wasn’t anything he had done and he finally said he couldn’t think of anything else it could be and that he thought I was either lying about something or that he’d missed something entirely. He kept pressing for a bit. I can’t remember exactly how we got to it, but he finally got to asking about my friends again and I made some comment about how I didn’t know if this person qualified as a friend. He asked two more questions after that. I can’t remember what the first one was, but the second was, “Do you need me to beat someone up?” I almost lost it when he asked that. I don’t know if he could tell I was about to cry, but I didn’t answer him and he stopped asking questions after that.

Later, when he went on break, he sent me a text asking if I was pregnant. LMAO!!!! hahahaha!!! There’s actually a back story to that. Two, really. lol. It’s just too funny.

The first is that two guys at work like to ask if I’m pregnant. I was kinda moody one day and one of them asked if I was pregnant and said I was acting like I was. I got really irritated with him and then he and the other guy have been doing it ever since. Well, the original guy quit his job, so I haven’t talked to him in over a month, but the second guy periodically asks me if I’m pregnant. He likes doing that because I get annoyed with him every time he asks that. I used to tell him I wasn’t pregnant because I wasn’t married, but people at work like to remind me that people get pregnant without being married all the time. So, now I just say that I’m not dating anyone.

The other story for this is that about a month or so ago I wasn’t feeling well and almost passed out at the courthouse. Mostly because I was really stressed out with my job, my assistant walked out that morning and I hadn’t eated in over 12 hours. When I get really slammed at work I sometimes forget to eat. So, yeah, I was very shakey and not feeling well and several people were all clustered around me asking what was wrong. I don’t like having a lot of people pay attention to me at once, so I was starting to panic a little. Then the supervisor came over to see what was going on and when Sabrina told her, she asked if I was pregnant! I’ve had more people ask if I’m pregnant in the past five months that I’ve been single than in the entire three and a half years that I was married! It’s insane!

So, yeah, Nathan sent that text asking if I was pregnant and I wrote back telling him that if he had been around me right then, I would have thrown my pen at him. lol. I knew he was using that as a joke to lead in to asking more questions, so I also told him that there wasn’t anything he could do to help me. He wrote back and made a comment about how last week I’d said he never helps me with anything (I was teasing him because he was talking about how he’s a super-helpful person and always does things to help the people around him) and that he was going to offer to help me with this. I know this is silly, but I was very touched by that. The whole scenario was very touching to me. I mean, most people would have stopped asking after the first few times of getting the “nothing’s wrong” response. It’s so different that he kept asking and kept pushing. It’s like Jill. lol. Whenever something is wrong and Jill knows, she won’t stop until she knows everything about what is wrong and we discuss every angle of how to fix it. It’s really nice having a friend like that. Nathan was a lot like that yesterday. I just wasn’t comfortable enough in the situation to talk about what was bothering me. I mean, completely public place with numerous distractions and interruptions. Not the ideal place to talk about something that’s wrong. But it made me feel very cared-about to have him keep asking and keep pushing. I think it made him feel bad when I told him there wasn’t anything he could do to help me.

I’ve been sitting here just re-reading what I wrote. I have no idea how to describe how happy it makes me feel that he would put so much effort into trying to find out what was bothering me. And the fact that he asked if I needed someone beat up (even if he was just joking, I think it’s cute) and then later said he wanted to help me. I’ve never really known a guy like that before. Well, there was one in Virginia. There was some stuff that happened at work and this guy had a total freak-out and tried to beat up two of our coworkers. It was so strange. I mean, it was overly warranted, but the fact that a guy I barely knew was more upset about the situation than my own husband (who just said ‘Oh’, gave me a hug and then went back to his video game) is just strange to me. I’m not used to people wanting to stand up for me or being willing to defend me. I’m used to having to take care of problems on my own. So, yeah, it’s kinda nice to actually feel like someone cared enough to want to help me. Even if it’s only in friendship, it’s nice.