Had A Good Weekend (Long and Rambly)

Well, I don’t have a lot to report about my book right now. I haven’t written anything the past few days for various reasons. Friday I was just so done with everything that I relaxed on my couch editing movies and watched a couple of tv shows before I went to bed around 10. I was just done. I had thought about cleaning my apartment and working on my book some while I was at work, but by the time I got home I just wanted to take it easy and relax for the first time all week. lol.

Yesterday I woke up early to help out with Cameron’s Eagle Project, which was a lot of fun. His project was to remove grass and dirt from around some outdoor kennels at the animal shelter and place gravel around them. There was a HUGE turnout for the project. I thought it was awesome. Last Eagle project I helped with, I think there were maybe 10 people total. This one had about 25. Way cool. They’d scheduled the work to take about four hours, but it was all done in less than two. It was very impressive. Cameron did a great job delegating and getting things organized.

After that, I talked with my friend for about two and a half hours and then went home. Since I was feeling pretty good, I decided to clean my apartment. Yay! It looks very nice right now. I love the look of a freshly cleaned house. Too bad it can’t stay that way forever. Oh well. So, now my house is clean and I feel much more relaxed. It’s amazing the difference a completely clean house makes. Well, it’s not completely clean. I realized this morning that I forgot to wipe the kitchen counters and the stove off, but for the most part my house is completely cleaned. I washed towels and bed sheets, cleaned the bathroom, did all my dishes and got them put away, ran some rugs through the dryer, washed some clothes, vacuumed the whole house, got the bed all remade, went through some boxes, threw a bunch of stuff away, cleaned off the kitchen table and finally got all the pillows put back on the couch. When I was sick last weekend, I’d thrown all the pillows in front of my fireplace and spent the weekend camped out on my couch watching movies and being lazy. But I don’t feel too bad because that’s what a person does when they’re sick. But, I do feel lazy about leaving the pillows on the floor all week. Oh well. They’re back where they go now and my apartment looks very nice.

So, that took all of about three and a half hours. Then I got ready and went out to dinner with some friends and a guy they wanted to hook me up with. It was definitely an interesting experience. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate dinner dates as a first date? Ugh. Talk about awkward and uncomfortable. I don’t know why I said yes to this one. I’ve said no to every other one I’ve ever been asked to, so I have no idea why I said yes to this one. Maybe because I’ve made it a goal lately get over some of my phobias. This one, though, was probably not so much of a good idea. Oh well. At least it wasn’t a horrible experience. Not the best, but definitely not horrible. Luckily everyone else talked a lot the whole time, so the spotlight wasn’t on me much. Though, they did ask me questions randomly and that sent me into instant panic mode. I’d answer the questions in as few words as possible and then stop talking. I think they all thought I was a nutjob. lol. There were a few times I felt brave enough to interject comments into the conversation, but it wasn’t very often. Oh well.

So, in light of that, I think I’m going to retreat back into my “I’m Not Dating” mode and just not deal with it anymore. I hate dating anyways. Makes life rather stressful. I’d rather just be friends with people.

Okay, so I would like to get married eventually, but I don’t think now is the time. I’m not ready. I still have things about myself I need to work on and fix. And I’m comfortable in my routine. That’s one of the things we all talked about at dinner last night, that when people are older (late 20’s and up) it’s harder for them to get married because they are set in their routines and personalities while younger people (right out of high school or partway through college) are still establishing their routines and personalities. I think that may be part of my problem, too. I’m not ready to change my routine yet. I guess that just means I’m selfish. lol

 Message In A Bottle  Clip ArtI did learn something about myself last night, though. I’ve noticed it before at my writing class, but last night confirmed it. I have a nervous tic. lol. When I have to speak in front of other people and I’m nervous or uncomfortable (in my writing class it was reading what I’d written to everyone and last night it was just talking and answering questions) my water is my best friend. lol. Seriously, in both my writing class and last night I would immediately go for my water after I finished talking. I wonder how long I’ve done that. lol.

Dating in Utah is so much easier. At least the first few dates. My type of first dates are group dates (with people I know, trust and am comfortable around) to go hike, do a bonfire, go to a museum, go to a fun park, do games and a movie at someone’s house or something a little more interactive than dinner. Dinner as a first date just sucks. I think I have a blog dedicated to my feelings about that, but I’m not sure I ever posted it. lol. Group dates for first dates are so much better because if you end up not liking the person, there are other people to talk to. I know, I’m pathetic. I just really hate first dates.

Anyways, enough about that. Today was a really good day, aside from the soreness. I woke up this morning feeling like I’d been hit by a freakin truck. The whole left side of my body is just tight and sore. When I first woke up at 9 I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to get out of bed. So, I went back to sleep. lol. I rolled out of bed around 10:15ish and did random stuff until a little after 11 and then I got ready for church. I ended up having to take some ibuprofen because it hurt so much, but after a few hours the muscles started loosening up and I could move like a normal person.

You know, I was actually rather surprised at the level of pain. I mean, I was actually expecting it to hurt a heck of a lot more than it did. One of the issues with my scoliosis is that any type of labor or movement that puts any type of strain or stress on my back usually causes me a considerable level of pain and discomfort. It used to be that doing something like this would cause severe enough pain that I would  be down for a few days. Even when I was shoveling rocks, the worst that it got was that my left arm and shoulder went numb a few times. I was fully expecting this morning that the usual sharp pain shooting under my left shoulder-blade along with the inability to move the left side of my body would be present. But it wasn’t there. The muscles just feel tight and my left shoulder is a bit sore. The usual kink that I have in the left side of my neck (a nerve got torn there in a car accident) is actually not there today, just some muscle soreness. It’s very strange. The only thing I can attribute it to is that before I went to the project, I said a prayer and I asked Heavenly Father to bless me and to help my body be able to handle the strain of doing physical labor.

Now, I know I didn’t have to go help with this project. I was under no obligation because they all know I have back problems. But I was so worried that only a few people would show up and Cameron would be sad that not many people showed up to support him. Plus, I also have faith that when I am doing things (that I’m physically not supposed to) to help other people, that God will bless me to be able to withstand the physical strain. And this is proof. Yes, my body is sore and doesn’t feel 100%, but then it never does. Scoliosis causes me a level of pain all day every day. This is a trial God has given me to deal with and so far it hasn’t been too bad. It was for a while, but then I got into my car accident and HAD to go to the doctor to get things taken care of. Otherwise, I’d still be just dealing with it. The car accident caused the pain to skyrocket and the doctors I went to got me into the habit of learning what the ques from my body are and they taught me how to take better care of myself. When I moved to Oklahoma, I decided to get into physical therapy, which I’d been putting off for years. That has taught me exercises and stretches to strengthen my body and manage the pain. Most days, I’m at a consistent 3-4 level of pain. This morning I was about a 7 and right now I’m about a 5. I can feel the pain and slight discomfort is there, but it’s not stopping me from doing the things I need to and want to do. Tomorrow I’m betting it will be the same type of thing, just with a lower level.

The point of all this is that God didn’t take the pain away, but He did bless my body and He is helping me to deal with and handle the pain. That is what I asked in my prayer and that is what He did. I’m completely amazed and thankful that God decided I could be blessed enough to not have the severity of pain that I was expecting. I 100% completely believe that the only reason I didn’t spend the whole of yesterday evening and all of today in bed is because God blessed my body and took the pain away. I’m not surprised that He was able to do that, I’m just a little astounded that He did it even though I went to the project fully aware that anything I did there would be above my level of physical tolerance. But I think part of the reason God blessed me is because I was helping and supporting someone. And because I asked. And because I believe that He can do it.

So, today I have just been relaxing and taking it easy. I went to church, then came home and relaxed. I’ve been working on this blog, working on movies, and researching stuff for my sister. So, this blog has taken me several hours to write, but that’s just because I keep getting distracted. lol.

Next week, I’m not sure I’ll have time to write for a few days. I’m going to dinner with Katie tomorrow, I have Institute on Tuesday and Wednesday, I’m going to the Temple on Thursday and my Visiting Teachers are coming over on Friday. A very busy week, I’m afraid. I usually have an hour or so between the gym and Institute, so maybe I’ll have some time there. I’ve got two hours between work and the Temple, so I think I’ll take my laptop and write in the parking lot for a little bit. I’ve found they don’t like me showing up more than 45 minutes before the session (the session before the 6:10 is around 1:00, so most of the workers are gone for a bit), so I’ll just hang out and write for a while. Maybe that will help me break through this wall. Cross your fingers for me.

Well, it’s almost 9:00 and I’m pretty tired, so I’m going to get ready and hop in bed. I hope everyone has had good weekends and that you are all excited for the great week that is to come! Good night!

3 Replies to “Had A Good Weekend (Long and Rambly)”

  1. Niall

    You went on a date ! ! Awesome!! That’s so cool, I love how you described how you talk so lil,
    THAT’S ME, As few words as possible or none at all,
    Mind goes blank, i can never know what to say, But later on i,m thinking ‘ i should have said this or that”
    But too late then LOL
    Back pain sucks, ! Not sure what more i can say about that, I,m sure you have researched it all,
    But if i find a cure i’ll let you know !! lol

    • Erin

      Yeah, I have a hard time talking to people in person when I first get to know them. I feel so insecure and like everything I say is dumb. I, too, do the whole “oh, I should have said that…..” Several hours later. Lol.

      • Niall

        You do own an mirror don’t you? You do look into it on occasions at least lol , I really don’t see why you’re insecure, But the whole shy & cute thing is attractive to guys anyway, I sometimes wonder if all the girls there are like you,To me your very unique , Never known a girl just like you,
        You always look so perfect, Yet you’re so humble in your perfection !! Which is a cause to be loved in its self
        You don’t ever need to worry about the whole dating thing, I think there is a long list of guys wanting to date you, You’re just oblivious to the fact lol , Or they won’t just come out and ask you out , lol Still mind boggling to me that you were married, and he walked away let you go
        YOU WOULD HAVE TO DRAG ME AWAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JK!

        I’ve excepted defeat when it comes to matters of the heart, My heart is crushed beyond repair ,It feels nothing no more, I know i will live alone and die alone, and never have family or kids ,
        And i,m ok with that, I’ll never go out on the line again and admit to feeling something for anyone,
        Has only ever brought me heartache ,
        Sorry to be negative, I know you hate that,

        And maybe my world did crumble,
        My star may refuse to shine,
        But when i say i miss her,
        Erin you gotta know that for all time, …………hmmm yea i hear my pillow calling , Night , 2 am ah

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